Call me kooky

One of the interesting aspects of my job is the scammers.  You’d be suprised how many people try to outright cheat us out of product or money.  Most of these are easy to detect.  Something just doesn’t sound right, the story has holes, or they’re pushiing for free stuff right away.  The free stuff right away is a good sign they’re trying to scam.
The best one I’ve encountered is Scarlet.  I’m not sure what her real name is because she’s used over twenty different names when talking to us.  I think of her as “scarlet” because that’s the name she used when I first talked to her.
The first time she called she was wondering when the replacement system would arrive.  So I checked and told her…. then I read the notes on file.  Holy jesus!  This person managed to scam us out of several replacement units over the years.  We’re not talking once or twice, but thirty or fourty times.  YIKES!  I put a quick note in the file that day and went about my work.
A week later I get a call.  The caller just bought a system at walmart and the accesories weren’t included in the box.  Our boxes aren’t the most secure and it’s walmart, stupid shit happens at walmart.  But something sounds a little fishy….. the story is too right.  All the necessary elements to get free stuff, but none of the sob story.  So I asked for all the contact info and the address set the sirens off.  Yup, it’s Scarlet.
So after scaming us out of the system she was now trying to scam us out of the accessories.  I politely informed her we couldn’t send anything out for free and that she had a file.  This is where she fell apart and started going on how this is the first time she ever called.  Which I knew to be a line.
I’ll give her credit though, if I hadn’t read the previous notes I probably would have sent her free accessories.  Turns out she called three times that day and got someone to send out the accessories (oops!).  That order was cancelled fast.  Checking up on it sometime later it turns out we’re trying to get the money for the replacement system from her.  I just know it ain’t gonna happen but I can imagine this going to collections.

Call me impressed,
Phosphers